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[killa_robot]

Hey guys. So I'm going to be trying to participate in the JET Programme - Japanese Exchange and Teaching Programme - a program where you go to Japan for 1-5 years and teaching English to Japanese students. In order to do this we need to write something called a statement of purpose, which basically just says why we want to do this and how we're really awesome. It's supposed to be about two pages (double spaced) long, and these are the instructions:

All Candidates (ALT/CIR): Describe why you are interested in going to Japan and participating in the JET Programme. What do you hope will happen as a result of your participation in the JET Programme? Please address your ability to adapt to life in Japan and what would make you an overall strong JET Programme participant.

Assistant Language Teacher (ALT): Why are you interested in becoming an ALT? What skills and qualities do you have that would help you in this role? Briefly explain any relevant experiences you have had.

Anyway, I was hoping you guys could help me by looking it over. I just need to make sure I've used proper English (going to be an English teacher an all), and that I sound as awesome as I need to be in order to get in (and that I covered the points they mentioned). Some additional things I want to know is: do you think I said "JET Programme" too much, and should I be capitalizing senate and university?

If anyone could help review it, it'd be much appreciated. I'm going to be sending it out in the next few days.

Thanks.

Growing up I never had the chance to experience other cultures first hand, and I believe I missed out on a lot because of that. The JET Programme gives Japanese students a chance to interact with others from around the globe, with the goal of cultural exchange and internationalism. Both of these are movements that I think play a vital role in the future of Japan and the world as a whole. I know I have a lot to offer and I want to help the JET Programme achieve its goals. I also hope to achieve some personal goals during the JET Programme. It is for these reason that I believe I am an ideal candidate for the program, and a great fit as an ALT.

I've been interested in Japan ever since I was a child. To me, it's always been a unique place, one that paralleled Canada with their technology and progress, yet had customs and a history so different from our own that it intrigued me. I think that the JET Programme is a fantastic opportunity to become immersed in the Japanese culture, which I can later take back home with me and share with others I know.

While participating in the JET Programme, one of my goals is to share some of Canada's culture with the students of Japan. I think that Canada is a great country and that the students, and Japan in general, will benefit by learning about our culture. I have been to all the way to the east and west coasts of Canada, which has resulted in me becoming quite knowledgeable of my country. These personal experiences have given me a deep insight into Canada, which I plan to share with others while in Japan.

Naturally, another one of my goals is to teach the students English. My experience as a Lab Assistant while in university is what sparked my interest in teaching, and a goal of mine while on the JET Programme is to solidify that this interest could become a future profession for me. Along with that, a hobby of mine is writing, and the nature of that writing is branching stories where the reader chooses how they want the story to play out. Not only has this hobby refined my English abilities, but it has also resulted in me becoming more creative, which I believe is a crucial skill when it comes to teaching children. Additionally, I think I could use my writing hobby to make learning English more engaging.

I think that as an ALT, getting involved in the community and being a leader are important to succeeding in program. Not only do I intend to do these while in Japan, but I have a proven history of doing so. I have participated in Walmart's Walk for Miracles for the past five years now, and while in college I was a soccer coach for kids ages 6-7 over two summers. When I moved out to British Columbia for university I continued this trend; I founded and was the president of the chess club at the university, and I served on the university's senate and a sub-committee for a one year term. Because of my service on the senate I was also invited to join the Joint Chancellor Selection Committee, which was tasked with selecting the next chancellor of the University of Waffles.

If selected to join the JET Programme and become an ALT, I have no doubt that I would excel at the role. I'm positive that I have the qualities and motivation needed to succeed in the program, and I believe that my participation can only benefit the JET Programme and its goal of cultural exchange and internationalism. As for my own goals, becoming an ALT would be the perfect opportunity for me to explore being a teacher, share Canadian culture with others, and become immersed in the Japanese way of life.

[Not Aman]

Firstly, that sounds awesome and I hope you get accepted (as long as you keep rping with us)! 

Senate and university doesn't need to be capitalized, I believe.

[Tanstaafl]

What Aman said. Good luck man.

First paragraph, last sentence: *these reasons
No need for that comma, I think.

(That's all I see.)
Also, the university of Waffles sounds awesome.

[killa_robot]

Thanks guys. While I'm applying now, the process wouldn't be complete until like, next august, so it'll be a while. As long as I have internet it'd be no big deal to continue RPing (though timezone would be way different).

Also, the university of Waffles sounds awesome.

^_^

Giving out the uni would make it so you could exactly identify me (given what else I said). While I wouldn't care if most of you found out, it is a public forum, so anyone can view it. That and it is a good test to see how much others read it, haha.

[3J]

Okay, I've done lots and seen lots of applications and in my opinion, while that essay isn't bad, it's not particularly good, either.

In general, it sounds like you're picturing who will be reading this essay while you're writing it and it makes it come out a bit awkward/stuffy. For instance, the first sentence: "Growing up I never had the chance to experience other cultures first hand, and I believe I missed out on a lot because of that."

Try: "I missed out on critical experiences due to never having experienced other cultures first hand" or some variant of this. Basically, try not to end sentences with words like "that" or "it". You want to make each sentence as concise and articulate as possible so that there's no room for misinterpretation. Try to read each sentence and make sure that each word is really serving a purpose. I think that you can re-work a tonne of sentences to make them sound more professional. Again, nothing is BAD, but a lot of it is a bit clumsy.

Beyond sometimes-awkward phrasing, I think you should flesh out your point about the parallels between Canada and Japan. That viewpoint isn't something I would have thought about, and so it's probably a pretty unique perspective that might set you apart from the loads of other essays that they're going to get talking about how much they love japan and are awesome people.

I liked your point about having seen lots of Canada, but I'd sell it a little more. "Canada is a huge place with extraordinary diversity and my experience traveling from coast-to-coast will allow me to share a unique and informed view of Canada's culture with the Japanese people." Fark man, you could even follow that up with: "I am fascinated with the parallels between Japan and Canada and I would take great pride in serving as an ambassador of Canadian culture." And then, some humility, whabam: "As proud as I am of Canada, I've always been enamored with what I've learned about Japan, and I would be thrilled to learn the intricacies of the Japanese way of life."

Wow, just read your last sentence. We both agree on using the phrase "japanese way of life", thus it has to be in the final essay haha.

[killa_robot]

Okay, I've done lots and seen lots of applications and in my opinion, while that essay isn't bad, it's not particularly good, either.

In general, it sounds like you're picturing who will be reading this essay while you're writing it and it makes it come out a bit awkward/stuffy. For instance, the first sentence: "Growing up I never had the chance to experience other cultures first hand, and I believe I missed out on a lot because of that."

Try: "I missed out on critical experiences due to never having experienced other cultures first hand" or some variant of this. Basically, try not to end sentences with words like "that" or "it". You want to make each sentence as concise and articulate as possible so that there's no room for misinterpretation. Try to read each sentence and make sure that each word is really serving a purpose. I think that you can re-work a tonne of sentences to make them sound more professional. Again, nothing is BAD, but a lot of it is a bit clumsy.

Beyond sometimes-awkward phrasing, I think you should flesh out your point about the parallels between Canada and Japan. That viewpoint isn't something I would have thought about, and so it's probably a pretty unique perspective that might set you apart from the loads of other essays that they're going to get talking about how much they love japan and are awesome people.

I liked your point about having seen lots of Canada, but I'd sell it a little more. "Canada is a huge place with extraordinary diversity and my experience traveling from coast-to-coast will allow me to share a unique and informed view of Canada's culture with the Japanese people." Fark man, you could even follow that up with: "I am fascinated with the parallels between Japan and Canada and I would take great pride in serving as an ambassador of Canadian culture." And then, some humility, whabam: "As proud as I am of Canada, I've always been enamored with what I've learned about Japan, and I would be thrilled to learn the intricacies of the Japanese way of life."

Wow, just read your last sentence. We both agree on using the phrase "japanese way of life", thus it has to be in the final essay haha.

Thanks for the great feedback. Exactly the kind of things I was hoping to hear about.

[3J]

Thanks for the great feedback. Exactly the kind of things I was hoping to hear about.

Welcome! Post your next draft and I'll do it again.

[killa_robot]

I missed out on critical experiences due to never having experienced other cultures while growing up. The JET Programme gives Japanese students a chance to interact with others from around the globe, with the goal of cultural exchange and internationalism. Both of these are movements that I want to be a part of because I know they will play a vital role in the future of Japan and the rest of the world.  I am an ideal candidate for the program, a great fit as an ALT, and I want to help the JET Programme achieve its goals.

I've been interested in Japan ever since I was a child. To me, it's always been a unique place, one that paralleled Canada with their technology and progress, yet had customs and a history so different from our own that it intrigued me. As I grew up my interest in Japan lead me to independently research its history and language. I think that the JET Programme is a fantastic opportunity to continue this and become immersed in the Japanese culture, which I can share when I return to Canada.

While participating in the JET Programme, one of my goals is to share Canadian culture with the students of Japan. Canada is a vast country with extraordinary diversity, and my experience travelling coast-to-coast has given me an unique and informed point of view. I am fascinated with the parallels between Canada and Japan, and I would take great pride in serving as an ambassador of Canadian culture.

Naturally, another one of my goals is to teach the students English. My experience as a Lab Assistant while in university is what sparked my interest in teaching, and a goal of mine while on the JET Programme is to solidify that this interest could be my future profession. Along with that a hobby of mine is writing, and the nature of that writing is branching stories where the reader chooses how they want the story to play out. Not only has this hobby refined my English abilities, but it has also resulted in me becoming more creative, which I believe is a crucial skill when it comes to teaching children. Additionally, I plan to use my writing hobby to make learning English more engaging in the classroom.

I think that as an ALT, getting involved in the community and being a leader are important to succeeding in the program. Not only do I intend to do these while in Japan, but I have a proven history of doing so. I have participated in Walmart's Walk for Miracles for the past five years now, and while in college I was a soccer coach for kids ages 6-7 over two summers. When I moved out to British Columbia for university I continued this trend; I founded and was the president of the chess club at the university, and I served on the university's senate and a sub-committee for a one year term. Because of my service on the senate, I was also invited to join the Joint Chancellor Selection Committee, which was tasked with selecting the next chancellor of the University of Waffles.

If selected to join the JET Programme and become an ALT, I have no doubt that I would excel at the role. I'm positive that I have the qualities and motivation needed to succeed in the program, and I know that my participation can only benefit the JET Programme and its goal of cultural exchange and internationalism. As proud as I am of Canada, I've always been enamored with what I've learned about Japan, and becoming an ALT would be the perfect opportunity for me to explore being a teacher, share Canadian culture with others, and become immersed in the Japanese way of life.

Alright, here's draft two. I changed most of the paragraphs apart from the 4th and 5th, and I changed my wording in most of the essay (most importantly I removed a lot of the "weaker" terminology I had, like saying "I think/believe"). Hopefully it seems stronger now.

[3J]

That's much better! I think the first sentence is very striking, but is sort-of a strange way to start an essay for a candidacy. I mean, it definitely gets my attention, but it doesn't necessarily give off the vibe you're going for. Maybe: "I missed out on critical experiences due to never having experienced other cultures while growing up, so I'm determined to immerse myself in other cultures, now." or something. Basically, I think the first sentence should explain your motivation (which it does), but should also tie back into the prompt.

Maybe join paragraphs 2 and 3, since they're both pretty short?

Paragraph 4 is definitely your weakest paragraph. Some things I'd change (but feel free to disagree):

Change "while in university" to "while studying X at University Y" or something, just because it sounds a little less awkward.
You could change teaching to education
"and a goal of mine while on the JET Programme is to solidify that this interest could be my future profession", is a bit awkward. I'd go: ", and I'd like to translate my experience in Canada to a valuable teaching experience abroad. Additionally, I hope to use this experience to confirm that teaching is the correct profession for me."
"Along with that a hobby of mine is writing, and the nature of that writing is branching stories where the reader chooses how they want the story to play out." -> "In addition to teaching, I love to write. I've written well-received interactive fiction and in doing so, I've grown accustomed to writing from a variety of viewpoints and voices. This written creativity will be crucial in my effort to educate children in English."

Thoughts?

[killa_robot]

That's much better! I think the first sentence is very striking, but is sort-of a strange way to start an essay for a candidacy. I mean, it definitely gets my attention, but it doesn't necessarily give off the vibe you're going for. Maybe: "I missed out on critical experiences due to never having experienced other cultures while growing up, so I'm determined to immerse myself in other cultures, now." or something. Basically, I think the first sentence should explain your motivation (which it does), but should also tie back into the prompt.

Maybe join paragraphs 2 and 3, since they're both pretty short?

Paragraph 4 is definitely your weakest paragraph. Some things I'd change (but feel free to disagree):

Change "while in university" to "while studying X at University Y" or something, just because it sounds a little less awkward.
You could change teaching to education
"and a goal of mine while on the JET Programme is to solidify that this interest could be my future profession", is a bit awkward. I'd go: ", and I'd like to translate my experience in Canada to a valuable teaching experience abroad. Additionally, I hope to use this experience to confirm that teaching is the correct profession for me."
"Along with that a hobby of mine is writing, and the nature of that writing is branching stories where the reader chooses how they want the story to play out." -> "In addition to teaching, I love to write. I've written well-received interactive fiction and in doing so, I've grown accustomed to writing from a variety of viewpoints and voices. This written creativity will be crucial in my effort to educate children in English."

Thoughts?

Agreed that the first sentence feels off, and I think that's a great suggestion. I made it a bit more specific given a big part of this application has to do with why JET/Japan:

I missed out on critical experiences due to never having experienced other cultures while growing up, which is why I'm determined to be a part of the JET Programme now.

Joining the two paragraphs works; they are rather short and related enough that it looks good. It feels a bit long winded to say my full degree and university (both are rather long), unless I use abbreviations. You have "experience" a bit too much for my liking in the next sentence, but I like the point so I just switched it up with some synonyms (now that I think about it, you mentioned the word quite a bit elsewhere too haha).

Here's what the paragraph looks like now:

Naturally, another one of my goals is to teach the students English. My time working as a Lab Assistant is what sparked my interest in teaching, and I'd like to translate my efforts in Canada into a valuable teaching experience abroad. I hope to use this experience to confirm that teaching is the correct profession for me. In addition to teaching, I love to write. I've written well-received interactive fiction and in doing so, I've grown accustomed to writing from a variety of viewpoints, voices, and to creating interesting scenarios. This written creativity will be a valuable tool in my effort to educate children in English, and in making learning more engaging in the classroom.

Think just saying Lab Assistant is too ambiguous to the setting and I should go for long winded anyway? It should be "to creating interesting...", not "in creating interesting...", right?

[3J]

Maybe, "and also in creating interesting scenarios". And to sounds awkward for some reason, but I don't know why haha.

Other than that, it looks really good, man!

[killa_robot]

Maybe, "and also in creating interesting scenarios". And to sounds awkward for some reason, but I don't know why haha.

Other than that, it looks really good, man!

Yeah, grammatically speaking I think it's supposed to be "to", because it's in the list of things accustomed to (and accustomed in sounds odd), but at the same time I think it's actually starting its own list and accustomed is no longer applied to it, so "in" would make more sense. Oh English...

Thanks for all your help, man. I feel a lot more confident in sending this essay than the one I started with.

[3J]

Yeah, grammatically speaking I think it's supposed to be "to", because it's in the list of things accustomed to (and accustomed in sounds odd), but at the same time I think it's actually starting its own list, so "in" would make more sense. Oh English...

Thanks for all your help, man. I feel a lot more confident in sending this essay than the one I started with.

You're welcome! When is it due?

[killa_robot]

You're welcome! When is it due?

I need to mail in the application by Friday, but I want to get it in tomorrow or thursday just in case something happens and there's a delay.

[3J]

Makes sense!

[Not Aman]

Have you gotten any more info about this?

[killa_robot]

Have you gotten any more info about this?

Got an email last week saying they've begun the judging phase. They're going to be looking through all the applications and giving points based on what they find (essay and references seem to be worth the most points).

I'll find out in January if I'm accepted into interviews which take place in april i believe. Very long application process haha.

[Not Aman]

Good luck. 

[BerkaZerka]

Yeah, hope you get your foot in the door!

[killa_robot]

Thanks guys. It'd be pretty awesome if it worked out.

[killa_robot]

So, I got an interview! Feels pretty damn good.

The interviews will be Feb 4,5,6, and I learn by the 26th of January when mine is.

Man, this is exciting and nerve wracking. Now I need to get ready for this interview.

[Forge]

Wooo grats

[BerkaZerka]

One step closer!

[Drakilian]

Nice

[Not Aman]

So, I got an interview! Feels pretty damn good.

The interviews will be Feb 4,5,6, and I learn by the 26th of January when mine is.

Man, this is exciting and nerve wracking. Now I need to get ready for this interview.

WOOT awesome! Good luck!

[Tanstaafl]

Neat!

[vedrisca]

What's the average acceptance rate into JET?

[killa_robot]

What's the average acceptance rate into JET?

From the start, the odds are about 1/4 to 1/3 that you'll make it all the way. Since I've qualified for the interview, I've got probably just over a 50/50 chance of making it in. This is all guesswork though, I could be way off.

Certainly better odds of acceptance than most jobs out there.

Here's a brief quote I found, for the acceptance rate of a specific location:

The ALT applicant success rate varies from year to year For the 2002 JET Programme, 320 out of about 500 applicants were granted interviews at the Consulate General of Japan at Chicago; out of 320 interviewees, 185 were selected as short-list candidates, with 80 on the alternate list Thus, for this year, 64% of applicants were granted interviews, and 58% were selected as short-list candidates This adds up to an overall success rate of 37%

The "Alternate list" is basically the backup list for those who are shortlisted but decide against going/have some other issue preventing them from going come up.

[killa_robot]

Had my interview yesterday. Messed up a few questions, and based on what others said, I got harder questions than most people, but it seemed to go well. The questions I think I messed up weren't the ones usually considered important.

I missed my return bus though, which really depressed me. I was right in front of the building, but i couldnt recognize it and I thought the address was different. Screw Toronto, having a bus station at 61 Bay street and a different one at 610 Bay street -_-. Ran almost all the way down Bay street before realizing I was actually at the right spot before the whole time.

[Not Aman]

Hope it gets through. I don't think anyone performs their interview perfectly, so it should be fine. ^_^

[Not Aman]

When do you know how the interview went?

[killa_robot]

When do you know how the interview went?

Early April

[Not Aman]

Godamnit. XD

[BerkaZerka]

Wow, talk about making you wait!

[killa_robot]

Wow, talk about making you wait!

Especially when you consider the entire process started in like, october of last year, lol.

[Forge]

Well, just think of it like this.

WHen you do get awarded the place, you'll have had plenty of time to prepare!

[killa_robot]

Well, the results are in.

And I got rejected. Not Shortlisted (accepted) or Alternate (maybe), but flat out rejected.

I was told on Thursday, but waited until now to mention it cause I was waiting on an email to confirm it wasn't a mistake (they made a few mess-ups this year so I had to be sure).

Really feels bad. I thought over the questions I had and concluded the most likely reason I was rejected is they didn't think I was really into Japan. I didn't know the name of the President (who I now know to be Shinzo Abe), and I couldn't answer their oddly specific question of "Name the two most important people in Japan's history, and why".

When asked about what interested me in Japan, I didn't have anything specific. In fact I think I I said something really lame like I originally got into Japan because of samurai/ninjas/technology but once I looked into it more I realized the culture was interesting and that we were similar yet different. It was a mess, the Japanese lady even raised her eyebrow in response to that question. Finally, they also asked me what I would do after the JET Programme was finished, and I said something really weak like if I got a teaching position I'd try and incorporate what I learned there. Didn't think to mention the Alumni or a reasonable answer till they mentioned it.

Anyway, that's why I think I didn't get in. Good news is apart from the first day I'm taking the news better than I expected to.

Bad news is I know the majority of people DID make it in, and I know I would have been better than quite a few of them at the job. Furthermore I don't think any of the questions I got wrong were even relevant to my interest in going or the position. Most people who answered the question of "Why Japan" said something along the lines of "Well I really like X", where X is something originating from Japan, which in my opinion doesn't even mean they're interested in or will even like Japan as a country.

Still going back and forth as to whether I'll apply for the next year.

[Tanstaafl]

Sorry to hear, man

[Not Aman]

Aww, that sucks. Really hoped you'd get in. Sorry to hear, though it's good youre taking it well.

Would your chances go down if you reapplied?

[BerkaZerka]

Ah, too bad, but this was a first try, right?

Might as well go for it again next year. Now that you got a better idea of how to tailor your responses to sell yourself to the board, so to say.

What was the age demographic of those selected? Just curious if you are on the edge of it or right in the middle.

[killa_robot]

Sorry to hear, man

Thanks.

Aww, that sucks. Really hoped you'd get in. Sorry to hear, though it's good youre taking it well.

Would your chances go down if you reapplied?

I was in a pretty bad mood the first day, but I've had time to calm down and think about it.

So far as I'm aware, no. It's not uncommon to hear people who reapplied several times get in. I think someone at the unofficial forum said this was their 4th year of trying and they finally made it (or got alternate, forget which). Though it's more common for people who were made alternate. Alternate means they liked you but not as much as others, rejected usually means they disliked something about you.

Ah, too bad, but this was a first try, right?

Might as well go for it again next year. Now that you got a better idea of how to tailor your responses to sell yourself to the board, so to say.

What was the age demographic of those selected? Just curious if you are on the edge of it or right in the middle.

Yeah, was the first try. Though getting in you first try isn't uncommon at all.

Naw, at 24 I'm around average. There's a decent amount of people that do it last year of university/college, so early 20s seems to be the norm. There's people much older than get in too though.

[Not Aman]

Well, then it can't hurt to reapply, right? Hopefully this time you'll be more prepared. From the little I know about you, I'm sure you'd be great for the program.

[BerkaZerka]

Hey Killa, you going to try again this year?

[Drakilian]

Holy Fark, it's been a year?

[King Playa]

Give me the word and I'll take out your competition. I got your back homie!

[Not Aman]

Holy Fark, it's been a year?

holy shit

[killa_robot]

Hey Killa, you going to try again this year?

Probably not.

On the one hand, I think living in Japan would be a really awesome experience, and since I already went through the process of applying once, I have a very good idea of what to expect, giving me an edge once we get to the interview stage. I also would have my full license this time around.

On the other hand, I'm currently working at a great job that's in my profession. I'm not programming, but I'm in IT, which is just a stone's throw away. Furthermore, I'm in a position where I'll likely get a sizeable raise in less than a year, and I'm already working towards the credentials needed for said raise (essentially my boss is said he can pay me as much as our customers are willing to pay for me).

I've also lost touch (in my eyes at least), with the people I used for references last time. They both live in British Columbia, I haven't spoken to them since last year, and I'm pretty sure my dad severely offended one of them beyond repair with how obnoxious he was when picking up my references. Since the only new contacts I've made are at my work, I don't have any real references this time around. I also haven't really gained additional skills I think would be all too relevant to the task. Since I'm finally in a stable position, and I have money, I'm likely going to be spending this coming year getting involved in things I haven't been able to do before.

Then there's looking at it beyond the whole "It would be a great experience to live in Japan for a bit" part. If I were to get the position I would be taking a pay cut (even just from my current pay), I'd be giving up my current job, and I'd be working at a job that may not have any relevance to my long term goals. While I think being a teacher is an interesting prospect, most of the things I like about it are all at the university level, and anything below that is really just a glorified babysitter.

I was in a pretty good position last year to go, because I hadn't gotten a foot into my current industry yet. Now that I'm here though, I'd be giving up a good deal just for the Japan experience. I'm sure I'd have a great time, but at the moment it doesn't look like it's worth it.

One of the most interesting parts about my job is that most of things we do is remotely done (AKA - We assume direct control of their computer from the comfort of our building). This means that potentially, if I play my cards right, I could travel (or even live abroad for a bit) while working.

Sort of a long shot, but a cool prospect none the less.

Give me the word and I'll take out your competition. I got your back homie!

Damn. If only you were around last year when this was happening...

[King Playa]

Damn, looks like I made that whip out of a pencil, shoelace, razor blades, and human waste all for nothing.

That's a shame to hear though, but I'm glad you've got your priorities straight.

[BerkaZerka]

Yeah, I would say stick with the solid footing you've already established. The IT field is a good one to stay in.