Learning Curve (Cleaning House)Fear, Uncertainty, SurpriseSaint is terrified that becoming a disciple is going to turn him back into his old self - the self who was corrupted by his mother's deal with the devil. He's not sure what's happened, but he knows that he had a violent outbreak while he was "unconscious" and he's afraid that it'll happen again if this continues. He doesn't quite trust himself anymore, particularly around Faith, and plans on making a deal with the Shadow Bouncer to keep Faith safe at all costs, no matter what - even against himself. Especially against himself, in fact.
He had no idea when he accepted the calling that there would be this much violence involved, and he's afraid that because of it he's going to end up giving in to his natural lust for Wrath.
Despite this, he has no intention of quitting, and after seeing what Kark did to those children, he is more resolute than ever that his mother has to die, and soon.
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Learning Curve (Loose Ends)Saint has realized that he is not as strong in the face of evil as he might think. He thinks that he's either suffering the after effects of his magical powers (like Beats and Robor) or, worse, that he's not strong enough to endure the horrors that he's facing and coping with it this way (which is not entirely untrue).
He wants to be strong for faith and for the others though, and he will never give up his service to the Lord.
He impatiently awaits Sarapheen's return, as he feels he is missing her guidance. He wants to learn how she became strong enough to endure the loss of her friends, and he wants to become a better disciple, that he might not fail the others when they rely on him.
He's happy to know that his blackouts are not mere rampages, as he can see that he did quite a bit of good this time around, especially in "saving" Miguel's soul. Relating to spirits in particular he wants to learn how to help the dead pass on and his new focus has become the spirits of the children at the estate, whom he will keep company until he manages to achieve the means to free them from their anchors.
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Learning Curve (Dark Web)SaintSaint didn't actually learn much from this adventure, seeing as he wasn't present for most of it >.>
However, what he did learn is that his family is not safe. He needs to constantly be on his guard. He let Faith and Usdi be kidnapped from his own home, he'd been too lax. His earlier attempts to secure a bodyguard for Faith were the right thing to do. As soon as the bouncer spirit comes back he will make whatever bargain is necessary to have it guarding Faith at all times.
Knowing that he has been putting Faith into danger by association, Saint is considering sending her away - or asking Sarapheen for advice on where he could send her. A school where a disciple is a teacher or maybe an area more closely monitored by angels being ideal.
He will take care to invite Usdi over to watch Faith as often as she finds it agreeable, taking on the massive hit to his food budget voluntarily while using Life to supply Usdi with a steady supply of exotic and delicious fruits in the hopes of getting her off her junk food habit.
Saint is also unable to account for how much time and how intense his blackouts are becoming. He has resolved that if he has another blackout he will seek out Morrowind and ask him to examine his mind. If he cannot trust himself then he cannot protect Faith, and he certainly cannot serve his fellow disciples.
KillerKiller is enjoying the benefits of subtlety. Not once this time did any of the other suspect him, and he was even able to commit a most gruesome murder without anyone batting an eye - an accident of course, and a deserved kill at that, but still enough to get the blood boiling.
Knowing that he has to keep his influence hidden, Killer intends to take advantage of his newfound powers of control to keep his kills bloodless - he does not want to raise Saint's suspicion anymore than he already has with the consistent blackouts.
He is certain that Saint will eventually do something drastic and stupid like go to Morrowind to turn himself in and intends to take measures against that through both Miguel and, perhaps eventually, the Shadow Bouncer. He cannot have Saint ruining what they have going.
He has come to see himself as not only the stronger of the two, as he remembers everything while Saint does not, but as the one responsible for protecting them from harm. He has made Saint's sanity a priority, and is strongly considering offing Faith if protecting her consumes too much of Saint's time and resources. He believes that he is Giles Moreau - the man that Saint suppressed every since Father Armand taught him weakness all those years ago, and he will do what needs to be done for them both.
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Learning Curve (Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned)Killer is getting seriously bored. He's starting to realize that he misses having the Saint in control, having to spend all of this time around these people he can't kill is agonizing, and having unfettered control has ruined the joy he used to feel when taking a life. He needs to amp things up soon or he'll go stir crazy. Hunting the vampires took a bit of the edge off but he needs more, and his fellow disciples and Sarapheen are looking more and more tempting. He's already fantasized dozens of ways to kill or capture them all - Sarapheen's fate likely the worst, to be sealed away in a soul jar so that she cannot revive herself, and thrown to the bottom of the ocean to rot.
At this point, even he's considering going to Morrowind to bring Saint back - maybe he'd be able to lie his way into seeming like a protective personality rather than a murderous one so that he could stick around, and really he's pretty much both right? Anything but this constant, maddening, unfulfillable need.
