I just started watching "Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead". I can't find anything in English, so I'm sort of just watching it without understanding anything and hoping I'll be able to derive the plot through the universal language of violence. I'm not exactly sure if it's related to THE Evil Dead, or if it's just a happy badly-translated coincidence, but it stars Gordon Liu, who's a bit like the Chinese Bruce Campbell, so it adds up well enough. It's got all the bizarre heroism of Captain Kronos and the batshit insane wonderfulness of Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, and I'm sure Gordon Liu is a very funny Ash or a very funny Kronos depending. He's got the presence of a man who's "serious" through even the thickest cheese, but he might just be written with a very dry sense of humor. I don't know, it's up to interpretation, the movie's still funny and awesome.
Anyway, it's about a Kung-Fu Wizard Doctor rustlin' his herd of enthralled vampires across the plains of maybe-but-it's-hard-to-tell Feudal China. He runs into a spooky town, and, despite the fact that noodles have already been made for him and his Vampire Ranchhands (Possibly his sons, I dunno.) Gordon immediately knows that some serious shit's going down when they enter the abandoned restaurant.
It turns out, it was actually all an illusion. The whole place is gray and abandoned, the noodles are bowls of worms, and the citizens who came out of nowhere and grabbed them are actually zombies. How does he figure this out? By telling his youngest ranchhand to piss on the floor and using it to cast a spell. By stabbing the piss-puddle with his enchanted wizard sword. I shit you not.
But these aren't just any zombies, these are Evil Dead zombies, which means they're actually demons in corpses. Some even turn on each other like Doom monsters! The trio of vampire ranchers battle these creatures by Kung-Fuing them and stamping their foreheads with soul balls, a process that sucks up the demons and sort of turns them off.
They also meet another Kung Fu Doctor Wizard, possibly an old rival, since he and Gandalf Liu seem to recognize each other, and the "plot" "thickens" further as it shows not only the conflict between Zombies and Shaolin Vampire-Cowboys, but also the conflict between the vampire cowboys and the other Kung Fu wizard and his student.
There's also a zombie dwarf who sabotages them by shoving the kung fu wizard's thralls and thus jostling the safety-dollars off from the vampire herd. The vampires try to poke the ranchers to death, and after all the vampires are rounded up again, the zombie dwarf politely apologizes and walks away casually. He shows up again, but he's usually more "Friendly Dead" than "Evil Dead". I can't understand any of the dialogue, so I'm just going to assume he's just being a dick and they can't spirit-ball him if he says sorry.
Interesting to watch, whether you can understand what they're saying or not, I'd give it a 6-7/10. If you have a spare hour and the ability to watch youtube, I'd recommend looking it up. I'd also reccommend looking up Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter, which is also unabashedly corny enough to be a good time and is also free on Youtube.
